Friday, November 17, 2006

A Brush with Infertility Scared my Ovaries Into Action

I've been gnawing on this secret for three weeks and my defenses are wearing thin. I'm happy to announce that I am pregnant with baby #2! This joyful news has turned me into a hermit as I have tried to balance caution with the fact that pregnancy tends to turn me into a one-track-mind kind of gal. When friends call and say "What's New?", I'll stammer "uh, um, nothing..." (lie!lie!lie!). So I've dropped off the face of the planet and havn't been calling friends or returning their calls. I tell them via email I'm *really* busy right now. A few friends have actually demanded I honor our pre-existing dinners or engagements and they have found out within 30 seconds that I'm knocked up when I tried to causally say "oh, nothing for me, I'm not drinking tonight". "Oh my god, you re pregnant!" they exclaim. Why did I have to be such a lush? It has given me no cover whatsoever.

And this has been an epic pregnancy in the making. Good lord, all that money wasted on birth control pills in my 20's, when I should have been saving for my reproductive endocrinologist fees. After 9 months of trying without too much stress, I went to my OB for a little help, due to my "advancing age" (33). They naturally filled me to the brim with Clomid for 5 months, which increased the stress level of trying a bit and never landed me a successful pregnancy. Off to the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for more help.

I don't know what I THOUGHT infertility treatments were like, and honestly I didn't give it much consideration beyond chatting with some unlucky friends, because *I* would never have to go that route, of course. And usually I think everything bad can happen to me, I'm not a "it wont be me" kind of person, so I don't know why I wasn't worried about infertility YEARS ago. I could have gotten a really good head start on my panic.

After one month of infertility diagnostic tests, which included lot of pain, time, money, more pain, annoyance and frustration, they found nothing wrong. I however, by this point, had absolutely convinced myself I would never conceive again. Surely not even IVF would work for a case as bad as mine. Cursed! Why did I wait so long?!

Then I wrecked the schedule for the next months of tests and had to sit it out. And I kept sitting, and sitting, and sitting. I thought: this has been a really long month. And just like that, I was pregnant. 16 months later.

I had my 6.5 week ultrasound earlier this week and the baby was there (good), heartbeat was there (good), more than one baby not there (devastating to my husband, who thinks twins would be "fun"). I have another ultrasound next week, after which I might emerge from seclusion if it still looks good. I don't know why I'm hiding this from friends except I know the minute I tell one, it will make it around the world like a flash fire in some Crisco. We just love our gossip!

So that's my news. It's interesting that this pregnancy is so different from my first, but more on that later.


Ann said...

Yeah - congratulations. I had several months delay with two of the four pregnancies and a referal to infertility specialists got me going. And, then this happens.

Congrats - it will be wonderful to share this road with another - by my calculations, you must be 3.5 weeks behind me - July 10th maybe. I will aim for a Father's Day baby and you can aim for a July 4th (or July 1 if you want to celebrate Canada Day!)

Congrats - here is to a happy healthy 9 months. But, before you get too pregnant (and too self-absorbed, it happens to me), can we have a post just about your son. I found you because of a book review but have stuck around because you are a working mom with a cute little one.

Heather said...

Congratulations! I had a friend who conceived through IVF and it was such a long process - but man is her daughter a cutie!